


Can You See Me?

by K_booklover98



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, POV Draco Malfoy, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 05:02:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11051865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K_booklover98/pseuds/K_booklover98
Summary: All Draco wanted was a friendship.





	Can You See Me?

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this in first person, hope its not too cringy.

_Year One_

 

I saw you first, as you walked across the room. Two seconds hadn't even passed by, and I was already falling hard. And when you looked my way, bright emerald eyes shunning with wonder and awe, I knew that it was already too late.

*

We didn't get off to a good start. Terrible actually. I blew my one shot. Emerald eyes that once looked at me with curiosity and eagerness, now looked at me with caution and resentment.

How did things get so turned around?

 

_Year Two_

 

Nothing has changed. How could I have been so stupid as to think that they would. One summer away, and you still dislike me. You glare at me from across the hall, and you never look my way when we sit in potions.

I tried out for Quidditch. It was never my thing, but you made it look so _easy_. So, I tried out. I wasn't the best, but I had potential.

You weren't pleased. In fact, I think it made you hate me even more.

I called your friend a bad name.

But _I_ should have been your friend.

I was a fool.

And now you hate me even more.

 

_Year Three_

 

Has it really been three years now? Three years of this back and forth arguing? All I wanted was to be your friend, and now we can't be in the same room for more than five minutes before threatening to hex one another.

This is not what I wanted.

 

_Year Four_

 

I guess this is better? Who am I kidding, this is worse. We're not friends, hell, we're not even in the same house!

But all you ever talk about is Cho.

I can't even taunt you in the halls anymore, you just ignore me. _She's_ all you ever think about, all you ever care about.

I know you're going through a rough time. Your best friend hates you, dragons want to eat you, and everyone is on Cedric's side.

But I liked it better when _I_ was the center of your attention.

 

_Year Five_

 

You hate me. You really _really_ hate me.

This is my fault. All of it.

All I wanted was your attention. But even _still_ it's _always_ Cho.

What does she have that I don't? _Besides the obvious._

We fought. Actually fought.

You didn't hex me. You didn't yell at me to go away like you usually do.

You punched me.

And honestly?

I don't blame you.

I've been awful to you, and everybody knows it.

And I know what's coming.

If you thought you hated me now, just wait until a year from now.

Then you'll _really_ have a reason to hate me.

 

 _Year Six_

 

I hate this.

I never wanted this to happen.

Maybe had we been friends, things wouldn't have turned out so wrong.

But they did.

And now you have this to deal with.

I want to believe it, I really do. But how can I believe that you're our Savior, our _Chosen One_ when you hate me probably as much as you hate _him_.

I don't deserve to be saved.

I remember the way you looked at me in that bathroom. Emerald eyes that one looked at me with curiosity and hope, now looked at me with anger, hatred, and dare I say, down right pity.

As if I even deserved that much.

I just wanted to be your friend.

Now all I am is your enemy.

 

_Year Seven_

 

I don't know where you are.

You could be dead.

I _should_ be dead.

Do you care?

Probably not. I'm not worth your time.

But still. I can't help but to hope that you somehow make if out alive.

And then all of a sudden your here.

And I think _this is my chance._

I don't tell them who you are. I try to hold off my aunt Bella for as long as I can. She's cruel and wicked, but I think your friend will be okay.

You take my wand.

I doubt I'll ever get it back; 10", hawthorn, strings made of unicorn hair.

I've done some dark things with that wand.

I can't help but to feel a little relieved that it's in good hands.

I don't know where you are.

You could be dead.

I _should_ be dead.

But in my heart, something tells me that everything will be okay.

 

_Year Eight_

 

You came back. It's been a year, and you came back.

You spoke for me and my mother at our trials. You cleared us of our charges. There wasn't much you could do for Father, but he no longer has a death sentence to Azkaban.

I have no way to thank you for all that you've done for me.

And I clearly don't deserve it.

Yet here you are again, sitting across the hall at the Gryffindor table as usual. As if nothing has changed.

Except _everything's_ changed.

You defeated Voldemort. We won the war.

Things should be back to normal, _but they're not_

For one, you don't glare at me anymore. I don't know why, but I can't really complain.

We don't talk period.

No threats, no hexes, nothing.

Again, I can't really complain.

You and the Weaselette broke up. Why, I don't know, but it happened, and you seem...relieved.

I can't imagine why.

But, you out of everyone deserves to be happy.

_So, why aren't you happy?_

 

***

 

_After Hogwarts_

 

After I graduate, I leave.

I don't go home.

I don't find a job.

I don't marry and start having kids like many of my so called friends do.

I leave the country, study abroad for a bit, try to get my mind off things.

Try to get my mind off you.

For a moment I feel as though its working. But then I'll dream of you, or see someone who looks like you, and the process starts all over again.

Maybe it's a lost cause.

But I can't help it.

I've been in love with you this whole time and I have absolutely nothing to show for it.

 

_A Year Later_

 

It's been a year since I graduated and left home.

But now I'm back and ready to move on.

Seriously.

I'm done moping and wishing for a better life.

I'm ready to _make_ that better life happen.

I apply to the Auror program, ready to learn to fight to protect others, not just myself.

I want fo give back. Better the Malfoy name my Father has destroyed.

I finish with flying colors. I get assigned a partner, one who I hear is at the top of their game.

What a surprise.

It's you.

But you look different.

Dare I say... _happy?_.

_Well, until you see me anyways._

But, there was something there. If not happiness, then indifference at least.

I try to give you space. I even go to Shacklebolt and ask for a new partner.

Alas, it doesn't work, and we're stuck together.

But, hey. We don't make a bad pair. A great one, actually. We solve some of the hardest cases to date, and you always give me this big smile that warms my heart every time.

 _"We did it! Told you Malfoy, we're unstoppable!"_ you tell me everytime.

 _"Yes, Potter, I know. Lucky us. Who knows what you'd do without me."_ I always reply.

You always laugh, and shrug it off.

But one day, you surprise me.

_"I'd be lost without you."_

It makes leaving that much harder after hearing you say that.

And I mean it when I say _its not you, it's me,_ because it _is_ me.

Auror isn't the path I want to take. After a year of working with you, I quit and join the Healers' program.

It's a hard goodbye, but I'm happy with my choice.

As I leave what was once our office, you seem sad.

_I can't imagine why._

You're certainly not happy.

_Why aren't you happy?_

***

 

_Now_

 

 

I fell asleep on the couch, out in the sitting room. I awake to the feeling of calloused hands running through my hair.

I open my eyes and am met with bright emerald ones.

Emerald eyes that once looked at me with curiosity and a sense of uncertainty, now look at me with love and admiration.

I smile as you lean forward and kiss me.

After we pull away, you stare a me. There's a certain glint in your eyes.

You're _finally_ happy.

And so am I.

**Author's Note:**

> I fixed my spacing!! Let me know if you see any other mistakes, as I am only human. Other than that, feedback is always appreciated.


End file.
